Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How naked do you want me to be?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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