Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
