Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
