My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
