omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
3pm strippers are depressing
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
