i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
