a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
