Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
