By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
