If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
