How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
