we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
