New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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