I think I am morally bankrupt
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
