I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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