The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
