there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
