Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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