He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
