I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
