soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dignity is for republicans.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
