and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
In America we eat man semen.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
