weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
