Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
