it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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