Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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