i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
