I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
