I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
