I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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