is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
