Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
