like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
