We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
