We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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