btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
