she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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