I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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