my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
