You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
