fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
