im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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