ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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