weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
