We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just threw up on my dentist
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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