Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
