there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
