I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think pants incapable of making pants work
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
