Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
