i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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