i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
