can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
